How Can I Stop Feeling Guilty?
Being cared for can cause guilt, but it shouldn’t. Guilt darkens your mood and drains your energy, widening rather than bridging the gap between your abilities and your caregiver’s. There’s no need to feel guilt if you did nothing to cause your disability. You did nothing wrong. You’re doing the best you can with what life dealt you. Your caregiver loves you, and love is the greatest motivator and burden lifter there is.
If your roles were reversed, you wouldn’t grudgingly care for your caregiver, so don’t talk yourself down and make yourself feel like a burden. You’re worth being cared for. Yes, you are!
This is the expanded version of what I told my friend with a progressive neurological disorder when she said something negative about having to live with her parents/caregivers. Let go of the guilt and work on something else that you can change.
Darla Nagel is an editor and writing tutor who has an invisible chronic illness. She wants to help other patients and enlighten health care professionals about our experiences. If you’d like to be alerted whenever she writes a new post, sign up by emailing email@example.com.
9/26/2018 09:18:48 pm
You know, I would go so far as to say that you can be a blessing to those who serve you--a blessing in a way that a well person can't necessarily be. When someone serves a person who is willing yet weak, it's an inspiration and a great opportunity for the server to embrace a renewed, more grateful perspective. So I agree...Say No to guilt! :-) Maybe we should be saying "you're welcome." LOL!
9/27/2018 07:21:18 am
Thanks, Betsy! You're wise to see the situation from this angle. You never know where you'll find a blessing, do you? :)
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